What I'm Really Thinking When I Look Deep in Thought

Apparently, I look like I'm deep in thought a lot. The funny thing is when people assume I'm thinking of some intelligent thing or some life changing whatever, but in reality, I'm not. Well, more like 99% of the time. I'll think about import things like 1% of the time. Maybe. For the most part, I'm usually thinking of weird things like this:

1. At a movie theater, which arm rest is yours? 

2. When does it stop becoming partly cloudy and start being partly sunny? 

3. If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, is he or she guilty of resisting a rest?

4. If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them? 

5. If God sneezes, what should you say? 

6. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? Do I eat animal crackers?!

7. If man evolved from monkeys, how come we still have monkeys? 

8. If a mime is arrested, do they tell him he has a right to talk? 

9. If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

10. When Atheists go to court, do they have to swear on the bible? 

11. Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop? 

12. Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as your following the direction of the traffic? 

13. How can something be "new" and "improved"? If it's new, what was it improving on?

14. What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant? 

15. If glassblowers inhale, do they get a pane in the stomach? 

16. Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food? 

17. If a doctor suddenly had a heart attack while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?

18. Is a pessimist's blood type B-negative?

19. Why is it that when we "skate on thin ice", we can "get in hot water"?

20. If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

21. Why are the little Styrofoam pieces called peanuts?

22. If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress?

23. Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs when rabbits don't lay eggs?

24. Do Siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?

25. Why are they called "Jolly Ranchers"? Who said that the ranchers were jolly?

26. Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?

27. Can a short person "talk down" to a taller person?

28. What's the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup?

29. Why is it that everyone driving faster than you considered an idiot, and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?

30. Can you daydream at night?

31. Why do they call the little candy bars "fun sizes". Wouldn't it be more fun to eat a big one?

32. What is a picture of a thousand words worth?

33. Why does quicksand work slowly?

34. Can crop circles be square?

35. If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?

36. In the song Yankee Doodle, is he calling the horse or the feather "macaroni"?

37. Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?

As you can see, my mind jumps around a lot. Especially when I'm just sitting there staring off into space in a boring class. Sometimes, I scare myself with what I think up. Either that, or I'll sometimes blow my own mind. I guess it really is a good thing no one can read my mind...

- Delanna