Random Funny Quotes I Feel Like Posting Because I Literally Nothing Else to Waste My Time With

- "Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day."

- "I don't need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."

- "I know the voices in my head aren't real, but sometimes, their ideas are just absolutely awesome!"

- "When a door closes, another door should open, but if it doesn't, then go in through the window."

- "I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveler?"

- "Every time you make a typo, the errorists win."

- "Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all of its pupils."

- "To make time fly, throw your watch out the window."

- "Pac-Man teaches us a valuable lesson: eat everything you can, and if anyone tries to stop you, eat them."

- "The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously."

- "I have many hidden talents. I just wish I could find them."

- "Alchol and calculus don't mix. Don't drink and derive."

- "Living faster than the speed of regret."

- "Not sure if I'm actually learning in class, or have I just learned how to pass classes over the years?"

- "I may look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level, I'm quite busy."

- "I suffer from premature procrastination. It's when you procrastinate before even receiving a task."

- "Yawnjng is the body's way of saying 20% battery power remaining."

- "I like to say 'morning' rather than 'good morning' because if it were a 'good morning', I would be in bed rather than talking with you."

- "Authorities believe she is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. She is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction."

- "Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you."

- "I don't have the time or the crayons to explain myself to you."

- "The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!"

- "Don't worry. If Plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet."

- "If the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you."

- "My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry."

- "Be yourself. Everyone else is taken."

- "I dream of a better tomorrow where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives."

- "I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way."

- Delanna