1. Everyone would naturally have to call me the SUPREME GUMMY RULER. Or maybe Her Supreme Gumminess? I can't decide. They will just have to call me both. Bwahahaha.
2. Meat is outlawed. Sucks to be a meat eat (or addicted to meat). From now on, you must all eat veggies. Forever and ever. Amen.
3. Everyone must own a pet pig. Pigs will, of course, be my new nation's animal of choice since they are like my favorite, but all animals shall be equals in my new nation. Just some will be more equal than others (epic animal farm reference).
4. My subjects must wear blue at all times, While other colors will be allowed, the main color of one's ensemble must be a shade of blue (no navy blue). Speaking of colors, orange is hereby banned because I hate it. Same with yellow since it reminds me of bananas.
5. Speaking of bananas, all bananas (real, fake, pictures, records, thoughts, etc.) shall be banned. All surviving bananas, both real and fake, will be destroyed. Violation of this law will result in extreme punishment, or as I like to call - extreme execution where we try every method of execution without actually killing you. Sounds fun, right?
6. I have complete and utter control over all gelatin-free gummy factories. Since the eating of animals is prohibited, only gelatin-free ones will exist, and only I have the supreme right to eat them. I can, of course, deem people who have exhibited worthiness the right to eat my precious gummies (but only one at a time).
7. Left sides are to be known as right side two. I dunno why, but I hate the left. It's weird, but since I'm dictator here I can do whatever I want, right? With in reason I guess.
8. Australia will henceforth be know as Vegetaria. Mostly because I feel like it. And, it's basically a super big island that's just dying to be populated by vegetarians.
9. When greeting another being, one must randomly foot five. Kick out them hellos people. Just try not to miss because you might hit the other person's face and since I hate free stuff (that doesn't go to me of course), health care is extremely expensive. Like we're talking billions of dollars.
10. Anime and manga will be required entertainment for all citizens who wish to live. Everyone must part take in the joy that is Japanese entertainment. If one refuses, well, I vave vays of making you vatch. Vwahahaha.
11. There is a no idiot policy. Any person caught in the act of idiocy shall be strung by their toes over a vat of boiling broccoli. Only I may act like an idiot when I feel like it.
12. Waking up before noon is prohibited. My slaves must sleep in to about noon in order to be well rested and work to their fullest potential for their ruler. My gummies aren't going to make themselves, and I'm certainly to lazy to do it.
13. Every year, there shall be a huge football (soccer for you backwards Americans) tournament, and everyone must participate no matter their athletic ability. Citizens with little or no altitude for football (soccer) will either suffer embarrassing defeat or will be forced to mine for gummies until they find at least ten pounds worth of rare gummies (bwahahaha the joke is on them because you can't mine for gummies, so they'd be there 'til they're dead).
14. Only I may "evil laugh". Anyone caught doing an "evil laugh" will be literally tickled to death. Unless they don't die easy. Then they will be put to work doing something.
15. Any thought of freedom is banned. If a single, minute thought of freedom passes one's mind, that person shall be rocketed off into space without a space suit. Yes, it is my worst punishment yet, but they get what they deserve for trying to bite the hand that doesn't kill them unless they absolutely deserve it.
- Delanna
P.S. Dictator Delanna just has a nice ring to it, don't ya think?
4. My subjects must wear blue at all times, While other colors will be allowed, the main color of one's ensemble must be a shade of blue (no navy blue). Speaking of colors, orange is hereby banned because I hate it. Same with yellow since it reminds me of bananas.
5. Speaking of bananas, all bananas (real, fake, pictures, records, thoughts, etc.) shall be banned. All surviving bananas, both real and fake, will be destroyed. Violation of this law will result in extreme punishment, or as I like to call - extreme execution where we try every method of execution without actually killing you. Sounds fun, right?
6. I have complete and utter control over all gelatin-free gummy factories. Since the eating of animals is prohibited, only gelatin-free ones will exist, and only I have the supreme right to eat them. I can, of course, deem people who have exhibited worthiness the right to eat my precious gummies (but only one at a time).
7. Left sides are to be known as right side two. I dunno why, but I hate the left. It's weird, but since I'm dictator here I can do whatever I want, right? With in reason I guess.
8. Australia will henceforth be know as Vegetaria. Mostly because I feel like it. And, it's basically a super big island that's just dying to be populated by vegetarians.
9. When greeting another being, one must randomly foot five. Kick out them hellos people. Just try not to miss because you might hit the other person's face and since I hate free stuff (that doesn't go to me of course), health care is extremely expensive. Like we're talking billions of dollars.
10. Anime and manga will be required entertainment for all citizens who wish to live. Everyone must part take in the joy that is Japanese entertainment. If one refuses, well, I vave vays of making you vatch. Vwahahaha.
11. There is a no idiot policy. Any person caught in the act of idiocy shall be strung by their toes over a vat of boiling broccoli. Only I may act like an idiot when I feel like it.
12. Waking up before noon is prohibited. My slaves must sleep in to about noon in order to be well rested and work to their fullest potential for their ruler. My gummies aren't going to make themselves, and I'm certainly to lazy to do it.
13. Every year, there shall be a huge football (soccer for you backwards Americans) tournament, and everyone must participate no matter their athletic ability. Citizens with little or no altitude for football (soccer) will either suffer embarrassing defeat or will be forced to mine for gummies until they find at least ten pounds worth of rare gummies (bwahahaha the joke is on them because you can't mine for gummies, so they'd be there 'til they're dead).
14. Only I may "evil laugh". Anyone caught doing an "evil laugh" will be literally tickled to death. Unless they don't die easy. Then they will be put to work doing something.
15. Any thought of freedom is banned. If a single, minute thought of freedom passes one's mind, that person shall be rocketed off into space without a space suit. Yes, it is my worst punishment yet, but they get what they deserve for trying to bite the hand that doesn't kill them unless they absolutely deserve it.
- Delanna
P.S. Dictator Delanna just has a nice ring to it, don't ya think?
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