Is it possible? I wish it was. I don't really show a lot of emotion to begin with because of issues stemming from my childhood, but I wish I could kill what little emotion remains. Being back home is kinda painful. I've been thinking a lot about people I used to be friends with because I guess I've been feeling kinda lonely lately? I dunno. I was hanging out with one of my old friends from waaaaay back in middle school yesterday which was super fun. Especially since I haven't seen her in a while. We were talking about people we knew back in middle school, what they were doing today, and whether or not we've seen them in a while. Which got me thinking about certain people especially from my high school days and how we were all like we'll be friends in college and stuff. But, honestly, I haven't really seen anyone from high school and talked with them since I graduated. I hung out with one of my band friends when I came home during Hurricane Matthew and briefly greeted certain people I passed by, but that was about it. I'm not even sure if I'm still friends with any of my old friends in high school or if they've completely forgotten about me. Probably the latter. I know that one of my friends from high school is currently avoiding (?) me. Which is really sad because I really wanted to remain friends with this person at least. We promised to retain our friendship even though I moved away and even promised to go see certain movies when I came back for winter break, but I haven't heard back from this person in a while. I would reach out to them, but it feels kinda awkward because they slowly seemed to cut me off over the fall quarter leaving me unsure of what to do. See? Emotions are complicated. I wish I could get rid of them, but since I can't, I have to learn to deal with them. Not that they ever really matter to most people before, but hey, it's whatever. Life goes on with or without you.
- Delanna
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