The Last Day of 2016

Today's the last day of 2016! And, honestly, it can't end fast enough. I can't wait for a nice fresh year to start, so that I can leave this one behind. Hopefully, 2017 will be a lot happier for me. I guess this means this is also the last post of this year. Wow. It's hard to believe that I've posted over 300 posts. I seriously thought that I would give this up after like two months, but apparently, I was wrong. Who would have thought?

- Delanna

I Almost Died...

MY BROTHER CANNOT DRIVE TO SAVE HIS LIFE. It's not his fault though. Even though he's technically sixteen, no one really takes him out to practice his driving, so he still only has a permit. My mom had this brilliant idea that I could take him out for driving practice since I don't have school at the moment and can, technically speaking, act as his licensed driver. Actually, it was a HORRIBLE idea. BECAUSE I ALMOST DIED. LIKE FIVE TIMES. Literally, we weren't even off the street we live on, and he had already almost hit two trash cans. With my car (my mom said my dad's was to precious to be used which left mine). By the time we finished the practice session, Kylle almost hit two small children, one bicyclist, and three different cars. It was a pretty traumatic experience for me, and I don't think I will ever ride with him driving ever again. Or even drive for myself.

- Delanna

Pigs: They Make Everything Better

I found this GIF of a pig on google, and it literally brighten up my life. It's the cutest thing ever! Pigs are so amazing! That's why I'm a pig lover. They are just so cute!

- Delanna

Can the World Just Die Already?

I'm still super depressed about life. And, everyone else is super happy. Which makes me feel like a thousand times worse. I wish I could just be alone for a little while longer. Just until I have the strength to pretend everything is alright again. Until then, a little peace and quiet would be nice.

- Delanna

Seriously, How Low Is Rock Bottom?

I'm super depressed right now. Which shouldn't be a thing since it's like the Christmas holiday and everything. But, I am. Maybe some people would think this is a stupid reason to be depressed, but right now, this incident has overturned my entire life. I really feel like venting, so please hang in there with me for just a little while until it's all over, okay? I promise I won't mention any names or anything. Lately, I've been having a very rocky relationship with someone to where I can't even tell if we are friends or not, but today, I think it's relatively safe to say that person will probably never talk to me again. And, it's over the stupidest thing ever. Recently, when I was heading off to bed, said person sent me a very lengthy text explaining certain things to me and how they stood. While they claimed that they weren't lashing out at me, they kind of were, and they could have used a bit more finesse when saying what they did. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that they most certainly did not have to say it the way they did. They could have said it a lot more gently to where it wouldn't have crushed my feelings. I don't even know where this text came from. It was the most random thing ever. Since coming home, I have kept contact with this person to a minimal because it was awkward between us. The only time I reached out (after a lot of debate and anxiety, mind you) was to ask if they wanted to hang out in order to catch up. That was all. I didn't mean anything deeper than that. So, when I suddenly received this text, I couldn't help but ask why they suddenly felt the need to bring this up and rub it in my face. They told me that someone had heard it from someone else and told the person who told him. Both of these people are people I've never gotten along with and don't trust, and the person who was texting me knows that. All too well. Which leads me to the question of why did they believe them? Apparently, what was said to the person in question was overheard from a conversation I had with someone and then twisted out of context when told to the next person. That person took the information and twisted it even more out of context before telling the person who was texting me. It started out as something that was a simple statement of fact and turned into something so embarrassing that makes me look like some clingy idiot who can't get over anything. I literally just want to die now. The two people who spread that information out of context are literally sticking their noses into business that they have no busy with to begin with. But, then again, I don't know why this surprises me. It's always been this way ever since I first met them. I don't know why I thought anything had changed since I moved to, you know, a completely different state to escape it all. Yes, that's one of the reasons why I chose to move and attend an out-of-state college. It was because I enjoy running away from my problems. I literally just wanted to leave all the problems and people I didn't get along with that were leftover from high school that seemed to follow me everywhere, but apparently, it didn't work because they won't leave me alone. I mean, seriously, is it too much to ask for? Some dang piece and quiet? After all this time? I mean grow up people! Just leave me alone! I don't know what I did that was so horrible to deserve this, but whatever it was, I really am sorry. I'm begging to leave me alone. I'm broken enough as it is already. I thought I was getting better, but no, I'm not. That was ruined for me. Just like everything else. I honestly don't think I can take much more since it's been going on for so long. I'm tired of the leftover mental damage from keeping all this bottle up. I literally having problems trusting people I haven't known for 10+ years because of this. And, on top of that, I find that I can't even talk to people normally like I used to in fear that what I say will get twisted around like that again. I'm tired. I'm so tired of living in fear like this. Whether it's a fear of those around me. Or a fear of getting hurt again. But, I can't do anything about it because I'm trapped by this fear. No amount of counseling is gonna help me. I'm broken, and when a person breaks, it's just like glass. No matter how hard you try, you lose pieces, and some pieces just never fit back together no matter how many times you glue them and try to force them back together. Seriously, just how low is rock bottom? I thought I hit rock bottom a long time ago but apparently not. Apparently, I'm still falling. Only, now, it's faster than ever. I thought I was getting better, you know, after meaning the person I was texting with, but because I was stupid and decided to follow some stupid dream that will literally never come true, I've lost everything. I've lost my home, the place where I grew up, and on top of that, I've lost my friends and relationships that I've spent years building. I'm stuck in plane in the sky that's falling with no way to steer it. It's all over. And no one is to blame but myself and my stupid decisions. I wonder if I had chose differently, would everything be different? Would it be better? Or a hundred times worse?

- Delanna

P.S. I'm sorry about how confusing this whole post is and how hard it is to follow. It's literally just me venting. I won't act on any of this. I'll just keep drifting on like normal. I'm too much of a coward to do otherwise.

The Day After Christmas...Why Does It Even Exist?

The day after Christmas must have a very unhappy existence. I feel like so many people (like my siblings for instance) are depressed on this day because Christmas is over (even though there are still more days in the 12 days of Christmas). People should enjoy this day like the wonderful day it is - the end of Christmas music. I have to say, today might very well be my favorite day of the year. Until next year, annoying Christmas music. It's been a real...delight...yeah... NOT. :)

- Delanna

Joyeux Noël!

Merry Christmas to all! I hope you are having a very happy holiday. I know I am. Only because I am curled up with several new volumes of manga (Merry Christmas me!) and my very precious guinea pig. In order to celebrate the holidays, I decided to make a list of how to say "Merry Christmas" in several different languages! I hope you enjoy it, and share it with the ones you love. Or hate. Or feel neutral about. Or whatever.

1. Afrikaans - Gesëende Kersfees

2. Czech - Prejeme Vam Vesele Vanoce a stastny Novy Rok

3. Danish - Glædelig Jul

4. Esperanto - Gajan Kristnaskon

5. Finnish - Hyvää Joulua

6. French - Joyeux Noël

7. German - Froehliche Weihnachten

8. Greek - Kala Christouyenna

9. Hawaiian - Mele Kalikimaka

10. Hindi - Bada Din Mubarak Ho

11. Icelandic - Gledileg Jol

12. Irish - Nollaig Shona Dhuit

13. Italian - Buon Natale or Buone Feste Natalizie

14. Japanese - Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto

15. Korean - Sung Tan Chuk Ha

16. Latin - Natale hilare

17. Lithuanian - Linksmu Kaledu

18. Maori - Meri Kirihimete

19. Norwegian - God Jul

20. Polish - Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia

21. Portuguese - Feliz Natal

22. Russian - Srozhdestovm Kristovim

23. Spanish - Feliz Navidad

24. Swahili - Kuwa na Krismasi njema

25. Tagalog - Maligayang Pasko

26. Thai - Suksun Wan Christmas

27. Vietnamese - Chuc Mung Giang Sinh

28. Welsh - Nadolig Llawen

- Delanna

Just Awkwardly Burning Pies...

I can't cook or bake or whatever. I burn, decimate, or create toxic waste. Every. Single. Time. Without fail. I don't even know why. It just happens. I follow the instructions perfectly, but it always turns out the same way. Like today, for instance. My mom, grandmother, and I were all baking Christmas pies together because it'll probably be our last Christmas together. My mom's and my grandmother's pies all turned out perfectly. Mine? It wound up looking like it had just emerged from wreckage of a nuclear plant or something. It was horrifying to at and terrifying to have to eat (it kinda tasted like mustard). Maybe one day, I'll be able to cook. Then, my mom can't use my cooking tto threaten anyone anymore.

- Delanna

That Moment When Your Inabilities Catch Up to You

I was messing around on the internet recently when I came across an article that literally described me. It was bad. I could see myself in pretty much every bullet point, and each one made me feel worse and worse. Mostly because of my inability to express myself properly which probably stems from me trying to fit the image other people have of me for so many years, but whatever. Point is, I don't know why I'm the way I am now, and I apologize to everyone I've ever interacted with for my inability to express myself. So, if I've ever hurt you because of this, I am truly sorry, and I hope you understand.

- Delanna

P.S. Here's the link of that article I was talking about: http://www.puckermob.com/relationships/20-things-to-know-before-you-date-the-girl-whos-bad-at-expressing-emotions?utm_campaign=coschedule&utm_source=facebook_page&utm_medium=PuckerMob.

P.P.S. And, as if I didn't already feel horrible about how I come across, this article came along: http://www.puckermob.com/lifestyle/struggles-of-girls-who-are-bad-at-expressing-their-emotions.

P.P.P.S. I apologize. Again. Maybe this will help people understand me a bit better? Probably not. I'm kinda one of those scientific anomalies that no one can explain or whatever...

The Holidays: The Perfect Time for Showing Your True Colors!

'Tis the season to be jolly. To love one another and take care of your dear neighbor and... OH MY GOD THAT GUY JUST CUT ME OFF, SO NOW, THINGS JUST GOT REAL. You know how it goes, and if you don't, dear, you've lived a very, very sheltered life. Under a rock. Buried in the deepest ocean trench. Seriously, I don't know what it is about the Christmas holidays, but it seems to bring out the worst in people. I was barely driving for fifteen minutes, and I was flipped off six times, cut five times, and violently lectured from another car (complete with mad hand waving) once. It was ridiculous. This is exactly why I hate leaving my house during this time of year.

- Delanna

Delanna's Yearly Pants Rant

I HATE PANTS. HATE HATE HATE 'EM. Pants are evil. It's as simple as that. All I want to do is liberate the world of pants. Why do I hate pants? Simple. They are awkward, long, uncomfortable, annoying, and many, many other things. I mostly just have bad experiences with pants, so I like to rant about them every year. Like, for example, today. Today, I had a bad experience with pants. I was going to hang out with someone today, so my mom told me not to look like a fool and wear pants. It was kinda cold, so I was like this won't be so bad, right? WRONG. IT WAS BAD. Stupid temperature went from about 50 degrees to 80 degrees in about an hour. I WANTED TO DIE FROM HEAT STROKE. This is why I like shorts. You can always warm up (for the most part), but you can't always cool down. At least, that's my experience. I know pretty much 99.999999% of what I have just ranted about makes absolutely no sense to no one except for myself, but whatever! DOWN WITH PANTS! LIBERATION! BURN 'EM! OTHER PROPAGANDA PHRASES! DIE PANTS! The end. Until next year's pants rant...

- Delanna

P.S. My usual rant about pants is much longer than this, but I'm a lazy, lazy, lazy human being who doesn't feel like typing the whole thing up. So, if you happen to see me before I go back to Savannah, you'll probably get the full I-hate-pants-and-wish-they-would-all-die rant. Yay you!

The Britches Are Coming?!

I was calling Social Studies information out for my younger sister to help her out with her midterm studying. We started talking about the American Revolution, and I asked who was on what side. She answered that it was obviously the colonists vs. the britches leaving me extremely confused. I was like britches? Delaney preceded to lecture me about how the colonists weren't actually fighting the British. She claimed that the were actually waging war with their uncomfortable britches that they were forced to wear and how they wanted to abolish wedgies (not taxes). Upon hearing her lecture, I nearly died. Of laughter. For a good ten or so minutes. Just thinking about it now kills me. My mind keeps wondering. Like would Paul Revere be riding a horse (britchless or course) while yelling, "THE BRITCHES ARE COMING! THE BRITCHES ARE COMING!" Or would the Boston Tea Party actually have been a whole bunch of kilt-wearing colonists tossing crates of fabric into the harbor? I need to stop thinking about this now... Before I permanently scar or kill myself... With laughter... So much laughter...

- Delanna

How a Lock Unlocks

Have you ever wonder what happens in a lock between the time you shove it in the hole and the time you hear a click alerting you to the fact that the lock is now unlock? Whelp, apparently, this is what's going on behind the scenes! So cool!

- Delanna

How Popcorn Pops

This is quite literally the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen. I can literally sit here for hours and watch this gif over and over again. It just doesn't get old! Just look at the form of that kernal when it finally pops! Flawless!

- Delanna

'Tis the Season...

'Tis the season, and I'm just not feeling it. At all. I dunno why, but it seems like I just haven't been in the mood for the holidays for the past few years. I should probably change that, but then, I step outside or turn on the radio which reminds me why I don't really care for the holidays too much. First off, too many people, and second off, Christmas music is played waaaaaay too much. Seriously, I can go into one store and can literally wind up listening to every Christmas song in existence. It's horrifying.

- Delanna

I Should Probably Do Something About That...

I keep seeing pictures of people decorating their Christmas trees and making them look all nice, and I'm just sitting over here like I should probably do something about those rotting pumpkins by my front door. Priorities, man. Priorities. Pumpkins are much cooler anyway. Maybe I'll just decorate those instead. That way, I won't have to worry about the rotting tree come egg decorating time.

- Delanna

I Don't Sing

Delaney had her band concert this evening, so I went to go see her and take some pictures for my mom. It was pretty much like any other normal middle school band concert. It was loud, outta tune, and pretty much the very definition of a living hell (especially those flutes). Though, Mr. LeBlanc (my old band director during my freshman and sophomore years) decided to end the concert a bit differently from normal school concerts which a bit of audience participation in the singing department. Yep, that's right. He basically made us sing. Except, I can't sing, so I refused to join in even though he pretty much stared at me the entire time. Oh well. Sorry, sir, but I just couldn't. Unless you wanted the entire gym to become scarred for life from the sound of my singing voice.

- Delanna

I Feel Like a Bloody Chauffeur

I should start charging people if I have to take them somewhere in my car because with the amount of driving for other people I've been doing lately, I could make a legit fortune. Which would be great because I'M CURRENTLY BROKE. Seriously, I need money, and people need rides to and from school/activities. We both get what we need in the end that way. It's perfect, no?

- Delanna

Happy Birthday, Kylle!

So, today's my little brother's 16th birthday which is kinda scary because he can legally drive now. It's terrifying because he's a horrible driver (no offense, little bro). I love him to death, but his driving leaves much to be desired. I feel kinda bad for him, though, because his exams start today. At least, he has all of his easy ones today. Good luck, Kylle, and try not to die!

- Delanna

Do You Ever Wish You Could Just Permanently Kill Your Emotions?

Is it possible? I wish it was. I don't really show a lot of emotion to begin with because of issues stemming from my childhood, but I wish I could kill what little emotion remains. Being back home is kinda painful. I've been thinking a lot about people I used to be friends with because I guess I've been feeling kinda lonely lately? I dunno. I was hanging out with one of my old friends from waaaaay back in middle school yesterday which was super fun. Especially since I haven't seen her in a while. We were talking about people we knew back in middle school, what they were doing today, and whether or not we've seen them in a while. Which got me thinking about certain people especially from my high school days and how we were all like we'll be friends in college and stuff. But, honestly, I haven't really seen anyone from high school and talked with them since I graduated. I hung out with one of my band friends when I came home during Hurricane Matthew and briefly greeted certain people I passed by, but that was about it. I'm not even sure if I'm still friends with any of my old friends in high school or if they've completely forgotten about me. Probably the latter. I know that one of my friends from high school is currently avoiding (?) me. Which is really sad because I really wanted to remain friends with this person at least. We promised to retain our friendship even though I moved away and even promised to go see certain movies when I came back for winter break, but I haven't heard back from this person in a while. I would reach out to them, but it feels kinda awkward because they slowly seemed to cut me off over the fall quarter leaving me unsure of what to do. See? Emotions are complicated. I wish I could get rid of them, but since I can't, I have to learn to deal with them. Not that they ever really matter to most people before, but hey, it's whatever. Life goes on with or without you.

- Delanna

Is It Sad That I Took My Guinea Pig to Take Pictures With Santa?

I know. I'm a weird and horrible person, but it was adorable. I probably scarred poor Pandy for life from the car ride to and from the pet store (she kept trying to dig a hole in her carrier, but I was like you can't dig through cardboard...), the creepy Chihuahua in front of us that kept looking at her like she was lunch, the overly friendly Dalmatian that tried to tackle us while saying hello, and the downright terrifying Santa that probably came straight outta some horror movie. Buuuuuuuuuuuut, she was sooooooo adorable!!! I promise I will never ever make her do this again...until Easter when they have the Easter Bunny... Then, I'll never do it again... Probably... At least until next Christmas...

- Delanna

P.S. I'm unworthy of such a cooperative guinea pig who puts up with all of my stupid whims and humors me no matter how ridiculous I get. Seriously, Pandy is like the most patient creature in existance. I do not deserve her. At all. But, she still likes me for some reason. I JUST LOVE HER SO MUCH. I constantly obsess about her and take pictures of her (ask everyone who knows me, and they can tell you just how much I obsess about her because I always talk about her with them and show off cute pictures of her). I'm like that crazy guinea pig lady who spends the last of her money on a Christmas outfit for her little baby (which I totally did). IT'S NORMAL! IT'S TOTALLY 100% NORMAL... Just humor me...and say it's normal...

My Mom Made Me Wear Pants...

My mom finally made me wear pants. I was all ready to go out in thirty degree weather with nothing but shorts on (and a shirt obviously, you perv), but then, she grabbed me as I was going out the door and forced me to put on pants. I HATE PANTS! I WISH TO BE LIBERATED FROM PANTS! SHORTS ARE MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE! DOWN WITH PANTS! Sorry, but I hate pants, and I can't believe my mom made me put them on.

- Delanna

DELANNA IS BORED

Do you ever get so bored that you start referring to yourself in the third person? Well, Delanna is that bored, and now, she is referring to herself in the third person. Poor, poor Delanna. Actually, Delanna will do this even when she's not bored. This is just one of those times where she is so bored that she's referring to herself in the third person? Or maybe all of those other times that she referred to herself in the third person were actually times that she was secretly bored?! Ack! Delanna is confusing herself and will stop talking now.

- Delanna

I Got Kicked Out of My Room...

My younger sister has kicked me out of my old room, so now, I have to share with my brother which isn't fun for either of us. It's not fun for my brother because he doesn't like sharing his room, and it's not fun for me because I'm literally living out of a bag. My mom refuses to let me unpack because she thinks that I might want to stay if I put all of my stuff back to the way it was before I moved out, and she claims that she likes having one less child. I love you, too, Mooom... Oh well. I guess I will learn to deal with this for a month until I go back to the dorm life.

-Delanna

Déjà Vu

So, remember that post I posted back when I was moving to Savannah about how waitresses in Alabama are super cool and everything? Well, my dad and I stopped at the same Cracker Barrel on the way home, and we literally had the same waitress. Which was super cool. Unfortunately, she didn't remember us at all (not that I thought that she would), and we wound up having pretty much the exact same conversation about anime and Pokemon Go. Not that I minded because it was just as cool as the first time.

- Delanna

Finally!

After forgetting some stuff at my dorm and having to go back for it (thanks for letting me know sooner, roommate...not...), I'm finally on my way back home. In theory, I should be back by tonight, but who knows. With all the traffic, road work, and weather we've run into already, we might not make it back until next week.

- Delanna

My Final Day of My First Quarter in College and How It Went to Hell in About Two Seconds

Finally, my last day of the fall quarter has come and gone. And, it was totally a living hell kinda thing. So, last night, I got next to no sleep at all because of my final Design project (I did nod off once or twice, so technically speaking, I did get a little sleep). I will admit that this project was nowhere near my best work (but it was enough to earn me an A), but I didn't need my roommate to sit over my shoulder and judge me while I was putting the finishing touches on it about two hours before the class started. Literally, she stated everything that was wrong with it and more which made me feel like the worst person alive. Clearly, she doesn't understand the concept of constructive criticism at all because if she did, she wouldn't completely tear me down without at least pointing out the few things I did right. Like I really needed her insulting the way I use charcoal. IT WAS THE WAY I WAS TAUGHT. SHOOT ME. I apologize for insulting charcoal with my blasphemous ways of using it. Anywaaaaay, when my final class rolled around, I was so tired from the lack of sleep and from listening to her that I actually VOLUNTEERED to present my project in the beginning of class (I never volunteer to go first because I like going last, but whatever) and immediately fell asleep as soon as I was done, so I basically slept through my last class of the quarter. Yay me. But, it didn't end there because guess what! My roommate dragged me all over the dorm after her class was over because she wasn't capable of going to the laundromat by herself... Awkward... At least, I get to go home tomorrow, but then again, that means I have to deal with people back home that I really don't wanna deal with. Buuuuuuuut, I get to see Moana with my bestie, so all's well that ends well. Or whatever saying that would best fit this.

- Delanna