The Most Frequently Googled "How to" Question From Each State

1. Alabama - How to make love?

2. Alaska - How to fish?

3. Arizona - How to join the Illuminati?

4. Arkansas - How to hack?

5. California - How to stick drive?

6. Colorado - How to play backgammon?

7. Connecticut - How to be pretty?

8. Delaware - How to get away with murder?

9. Florida - How to get out of Florida?

10. Georgia - How to crack a safe?

11. Hawaii - How to be a ninja?

12. Idaho - How to address a letter?

13. Illinois - How to be a superhero?

14. Indiana - How to be popular?

15. Iowa - How to make jello shots?

16. Kansas - How to find Kansas?

17. Kentucky - How to make babies?

18. Louisiana - How to levitate?

19. Maine - How to use a compass?

20. Maryland - How to crab?

21. Massachusetts - How to make donuts?

22. Michigan - How to get unemployed?

23. Minnesota - How to quit a job?

24. Mississippi - How to twerk?

25. Missouri - How to raise chickens?

26. Montana - How to hard boil eggs?

27. Nebraska - How to fly a plane?

28. Nevada - How to cure a hangover?

29. New Hampshire - How to tip cows?

30. New Jersey - How to rob a bank?

31. New Mexico - How to put on a condom?

32. New York - How to stop being lazy?

33. North Carolina - How to get Viagra?

34. North Dakota - How to get a passport?

35. Ohio - How to make memes?

36. Oklahoma - How to sext?

37. Oregon - How to hack wifi?

38. Pennsylvania - How to get drunk?

39. Rhode Island - How to make money selling drugs?

40. South Carolina - How to be yourself?

41. South Dakota - How to make slime?

42. Tennessee - How to get on TV?

43. Texas - How to clean a gun?

44. Utah - How to train your dragon?

45. Vermont - How to move to Canada?

46. Virginia - How to propose?

47. Washington - How to dab?

48. West Virginia - How to make moonshine?

49. Wisconsin - How to retire?

50. Wyoming - How to battle in Pokemon Go?

I love how some of these are perfectly normal like Alaska's or Wisconsin's. Then you have states like Louisiana or Arizona asking the real questions in life. And then, there are states like Kansas, Vermont, and Florida who clearly are not happy with there existence. And then, there's Utah and Wyoming. Wyoming is clearly filled with Pokemon Go addicts. And, Utah? Well, I kinda want to live in Utah now because apparently THEY HAVE FREAKING DRAGONS NOW! I didn't know that. I want a dragon to train. Actually, I just want a dragon. I don't even care if it isn't trainable.

- Delanna

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Today is my mom's birthday, so happy birthday, Mom! I feel kinda bad because my card won't reach her in time. Same with her present. I guess I have to wait and give it to her when I go home for break.

- Delanna

If You Can Pronounce All of These Words in This Poem Correctly, Then You Will be Speaking the English Language Better Than 90% of the Native English Speakers in the World!

THE CHAOS

by Dr. Gerard Nolst Trenité
(Netherlands, 1870-1946)
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

- Delanna

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

I need sleep. Like now. I had to pull an all-nighter last night to finish a design project that I just completely lacked the motivation to complete on time. It was horrible, and now I just want to sleep, but I can't because I still have class. I am literally crying on the inside at this point. As soon as my class is done, I AM SLEEPING. FOR LIKE AT LEAST FIFTEEN HOURS.

- Delanna

Scheduling Classes Is Hell

Ever wonder what hell is like? You have to be in a certain class by a certain time, but there are only so many classes that teach the subject that you need to take with most of them being almost full. You're allowed to start scheduling at a certain time, and if you don't get that class, you can't leave. That is hell. It is the constant cycle of trying to get that one remaining spot in a class and failing miserably. Well, this time, I didn't fail. I MANAGED TO ENTER MY MAJOR! I'm so proud of myself. I was kinda freaked out because Action Analysis was already almost full, and I had an early scheduling time. But, hey, I managed to snag one of the nine remaining spots. And then, SCAD added like ten more Action Analysis classes, so it doesn't even matter anymore. Oh well. I still feel like a hero returning from a war. SCAD can't ruin this feeling for me.

- Delanna

Anime Knows How Make You Feel

I found this picture earlier today. Its from the movie Your Name which is one of the sweetest movies ever. If you haven't seen it, you should totally go see it. I love the quote itself because it pretty much describes the movie.

-Delanna

Sometimes, I Wish I Couldn't Feel Anything...At All...

I like to think that I control my emotions relatively well. I don't feel too much to begin with (at least not like the normal person), and even when I do feel something, I'm amazing at hiding it. I just can't express myself, you know? It's hard for me, and I don't think people fully understand it. It's not that I don't want people to know how I feel (though there are quite a few exceptions). It's just that I don't know how to outwardly express it. Which is the main cause of many of my troubles. Like for today, for example. I found something out that I didn't necessarily ever want to know because knowing it crushed me. I was honestly surprised by the amount of pain it caused me. I had never been hurt so much by something like this. Not even form years of bullying. I'm not even sure what you would call the emotion itself. Anger? Sadness? Disgust? Fear? I don't know. It's kinda sad how even I can't tell what I'm feeling most of the time. Actually, it's not just sad. It's pathetic. Anyway, when I found out about this something that I didn't want to know, I was just over come by my emotions. It was terrifying. And, it scared my roommate, too, because she said I had never expressed any kind of emotion like that before. It's not like I have emotophobia or anything like that. I don't fear emotions themselves. It's just scary to breakdown like I did. No, that's not really it. I think what terrified me the most about all of this was the fact that I could have sworn that I heard my mind literally snap. That's some pretty deep stuff right there, no? I actually think it was caused by the fact that I've been overworking myself lately and was depressed to begin with (today just hasn't been I fun day at all). I kinda just wish that I couldn't feel anything at all right now. I know I'm already a bit emotionally dead, but as of right now, I wish I was completely free of emotions. I'm just tired, you know? I feel like if that happened, I could finally get some rest.

- Delanna

P.S. Sorry if literally none of that made sense. It's just been a super long day. Actually, a super long week. I keep forgetting to actually post my stuff and everything. I could really use a break just about now.

P.P.S. My roommate is taking me to McDonald's to cheer me up, and we're going hunt for generation two Pokemon since they were just released. Isn't she the best?!

WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME?

As you all should know, I hate King Cake. So, why would my parents send me some? It's because my friends wanted to try it. They didn't believe me when I told them that I celebrated it, so they wanted proof. We had a mini party together in my dorm room to eat the cake. Some people stayed for a really long time while others came and left because homework is a thing. I told everyone before they grabbed a piece that there was a baby in one of the pieces because I didn't want them to choke or anything, but none of them believed me. After most of the cake was gone, a friend that had left to go do work sent me this picture with the words "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME?!" attached to it.

The poor guy didn't believe me when I said he had the possibility of finding a baby in his cake. He was like who puts babies in cakes? Isn't that against the law (he though I meant actual baby parts even though I clearly stated that the baby was plastic)? Instead of proceeding with caution like I warned him to, he took a bite of the cake and got a mouth full of baby. It was hilarious. Especially because he thought I was trying to kill him. With a plastic baby. My friends (who are all from the North) just do not understand the wonders of the South.

- Delanna

Apparently, It's Valentine's Day?

I forgot about this sorry excuse for a holiday. Why do people celebrate this day again? It's kinda annoying. I went to the mailing center to pick up my package, and I had to wait in a ridiculously long line for a ridiculously long time because it seems like everyone was picking up cards and flowers that their girlfriends/boyfriends sent them. I was waiting in line with a friend, and his girlfriend sent him this huge thing of flowers that was quite literally half my size. It was ridiculous. When I actually got up to the counter, the guy working the desk was like you here to pick up something from your boyfriend/ girlfriend? I was like hell no. Don't have one of those. I'm here to pick up something for Mardi Gras from my parents. He kinda gave me this look like what the heck is Mardi Gras? When he brought me my package, he was carefully caring it (it was marked as fragile), and he asked me what was in it because it was so heavy. I told him that it was a cake, and he kinda got peeved because he told me his thought it was glass or something and was being extra careful with it. He was right about it being super heavy though. Caring that thing back to my dorm was killer. Who knew cake could be some heavy? Yes, there was other stuff in it like beads, a magazine, chips, gummies, earphones, and bags, but the cake was the heaviest thing in there. The other stuff barely weighted anything.

- Delanna

Curse You, Mailing Center!

The mailing center was kind enough to send me an email telling me the package my parents sent had arrived safely at the center. The only thing that was wrong with this was that THEY SENT IT TO ME AFTER THE CENTER CLOSED! I MEAN COME ON! Now, I have to pick up my package tomorrow which is gonna be like the busiest day ever. Curse you, mailing center. Curse you.

- Delanna

I've Been Thinking Lately... (A Dangerous Past Time I Know)

Lately, my roommate has been doing a series of comics called Bumbling Bee Comics about her interactions with people around her, and I've even made a few appearances in them. But, this whole thing has got me thinking. What if I start making a comic?! I think it would be cool, but I'm not sure if I would have time. I mean, I already have school work. And, also this blog. I dunno. It would be fun though. I've even started on some character designs. I don't know what I would call it, or what it would be about. Or, even if anyone would be interested and even read it. I mean, people barely read this thing, so maybe I shouldn't waste my time... What do you think? Should I? Or should I not?

- Delanna

Where Does the Time Go?

Apparently, today's like the 12th or something of FEBRUARY. Last time I checked, it was only January, and it was like the 2nd. What happened to all of the time in between those dates?! Did I just sleep it away or something? I'm pretty sure I didn't. I don't think I did... Did I?

- Delanna

SIXTEEN HOURS LATER...

I FINALLY FINISHED MY MIDTERM PORTFOLIO FOR DESIGN! I'M SO HAPPY! It only took me like sixteen sleepless hours straight (with no breaks) to finish it. It looks horrible, but at this point I don't care. I used up all of my glue, rubber cement, and double-sided tape on this thing. I'm so done with it that I couldn't care less. I am so excited to turn it in. And, now, I can finally get some sleep because I'm about to die. I haven't slept since about six in the morning yesterday, and I haven't eaten since around noon of yesterday, too. I realize that I've kinda been ignoring my health lately, but since I'm not really all that hungry right now, I'm going to completely skip eating again so that I can just get a little bit of sleep. That's all I need. I think. I dunno. I hope that I don't die? Not that I really care at this point. I need all the rest that I can get. So, ya know, 'night!

- Delanna

Can You Please Speak Standard American English?

We always have the weirdest conversations in Communications. Today, we talked about Standard American English. Apparently, very few people actually speak it, and I am supposedly one of them. We went around the class comparing accents, and my professor said I had the closest one to Standard American English. Which is weird because my roommate says I have a strong Southern accent sometimes. I dunno. I mean I do try to avoid using words that I would use back in Louisiana because trust me, when I do, no one understands me. It's just easier not to.

- Delanna

The World Could End, And My Roommate Still Wouldn't Wake Up...

So, today, I forgot my ID in my dorm room. Which meant I was locked out of my room and couldn't leave my dorm if I wanted to. I was in a hurry cause I was super busy this morning, so I had to knock on the door in hopes that my roommate would hear me. EXCEPT SHE WAS ASLEEP. I started off knocking, but after about ten minutes, I was literally beating on the dorm because she wouldn't wake up. I would have called my other roommate, but she was in class. Eventually, my roommate did wake up, but she was super mad at me for waking her up. And, I was sobbing on the inside because I wasted around twenty minutes trying to get my ID.

- Delanna